Lori wedding band

 

29 years ago today, I asked my wife Lori to marry me. The proposal made after only 3 days knowing each has confounded many who hear it except for a few empathetic friends. You can fail to know everything (about a person or about a decision) as long as you know enough. The “key” things as the strategy-minded leader/manager in me would say.

I wasn’t able to arrange for a ring for the proposal so we went ring shopping together that weekend. I have since learned that most jewellery is best bought on a consultative basis. Yes, surprises are wonderful and yes Lori says you can never ‘fail’ with jewellery, but when we have gone shopping together, we always end up with something she prefers a fair bit different to what I would have chosen by myself. Our rings, a symbol of our love for each other, were indeed chosen and designed together.

One characteristic of our rings is imperfection. The classic metaphor for a ring is the “unbroken circle”, but our rings are spirals. Lines that never met, but are forever joined. A design of a more boundless motif. And the crowning piece to Lori’s engagement ring too is distinguished by imperfection.

The diamond we chose had a minuscule flaw deep inside that you could only really see with a jewellers glass. But the small flaw not only made the otherwise dazzling gem affordable to our just-starting-out-in-life budget, but Lori also embraced it as a miniature signature of its uniqueness. Whenever the ring had to be cleaned or adjusted, the first thing she would do when she got it back would be to look for that distinctive flaw. Actually, new technology that ‘marks’ diamonds with lasers in a similar fashion has become popular in essence creating imperfections to make them more secure and personal.

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